


Full Circle

by meyari



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Angst, Foursome, Multi, Slavery, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-06
Updated: 2010-01-06
Packaged: 2017-10-05 21:45:40
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/meyari/pseuds/meyari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Rodney exposed himself to the others to save their lives he expected to be turned in to the SGC.  Instead, he got something he hadn't expected to find ever again.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Full Circle

**Author's Note:**

> Gruesome burning scene, lots of angst, confusion and emotional upset, no sex in the first chapter. Slavefic, het, slash, oral, anal, foursome on much too small of a bed, snuggling, D/s dynamics inthe second chapter.

_"Rodney!"_ Sheppard growled, a desperate edge in his voice.

"I'm working on it!" Rodney snarled back at him, mentally running through options and discarding them as the seconds ticked by.

They'd gotten trapped inside some sort of force field that had been set up to protect what should have been a Zed-PM factory. He'd been so sure that he'd finally found a way to get what they needed to revive Lantea but he'd been wrong. There wasn't a factory. Someone had found and trashed it at least 3000 years ago. There weren't any leftover Zed-PMs. There weren't even scraps of them or raw materials. Instead there was a trap that was going to kill them all unless Rodney did something he'd sworn he wouldn't do.

"Rodney!" Sheppard snapped as the field that was contracting around them zapped his elbow.

"Damn it!" Rodney snarled and swallowed convulsively. "Okay, okay, you can't interfere with this. You have to stay over there and let me do this. It's going to hurt and you're going to want to interfere but you _can't!_"

John stared at Rodney, distracted by the urgency in his manner. Teyla frowned, looking concerned. Ronon just grunted and moved over to the other side of the shrinking enclosure. At least it was shrinking towards the door instead of towards the far wall. They'd be screwed otherwise, or at least John, Teyla and Ronon would be screwed. Rodney would be hurt and then he'd mourn for them and he'd go on. There was nothing else that he could do, after all.

"Don't let them stop me," Rodney ordered Ronon. "Seriously, hold them and don't let them stop me."

"Rodney, what the hell?" John asked, frowning as Ronon latched onto one of his arms.

"Just… trust me, okay?" Rodney said, swallowing again. "This is going to hurt and it'll be pretty gruesome but we'll all survive. I know what I'm doing."

The others stilled as Rodney pulled off his field vest and jacket and then pushed his sleeve up to his shoulder. Rodney braced himself and then shoved his fist through the field. He screamed in agony as the field stripped the flesh from his bones and then started burning the bone away. The smell and pain brought back so many terrible memories: cannibals cackling as they sawed off his leg and carried it away to cook for dinner, coughing up blood as he died for the sixth time from the Black Death, being led to the guillotine while the revolutionaries jeered at him. John screamed at Rodney to stop. He didn't stop. He shoved his arm through the shield up to the bicep, waiting for a count of about five for his flesh to start growing back and then slapped his skeletal hand into the wall. His hand curled around the controls and he sagged to his knees, letting his weight pull at his arm, which pulled at the controls for the trap and turned it off in a snap of energy that made him shudder. The shock and the pain stopped his heart and he blacked out, hoping that they'd still be there when he woke up. Hopefully they wouldn't abandon him here like a freak or monster. He came back to life an indeterminate time later with a shuddering gasp of air, finding John holding him. Great.

"Rodney?" John whispered, something that couldn't be tears on his cheeks.

"I'll be okay," Rodney panted, shuddering as the bone faded from charred black to pearly white and his tendons started restoring themselves. "Just need a little time. It's all right. Done this before."

He wouldn't meet their eyes. He couldn't. He'd seen the horror, the disbelief, and the mistrust so many times over the eons. He couldn't stand to see them look at him that way, not while he was hurting so bad and his arm was healing.

There was a process to it. He'd memorized it so very long ago. First the bones restored themselves. Then the tendons and ligaments. Next came the nerves and that was always the worst part of it other than the creepiness of regrowing skin. Regrowing his nerves was usually worse than the original injury from the combination of the return of pain and the bizarre sensations creeping down his arm. Pain mixed with the feeling that he was going to grow several hands or maybe a second head was not fun.

Next came muscles, filling out the net of fragile nerves. Then the blood supply turned the regrown flesh from pale pink to flushed red as it oozed blood. The skin came next, creeping like pale mold down his arm. It quickly bruised as the skin trapped the blood that was busily reestablishing veins and arteries.

John, Teyla and Ronon watched the process silently, letting him shudder and whimper through it without interfering. Rodney could practically count every second of the fifteen minutes it took to grow back his arm.

"God, I hate that," Rodney moaned after it was done and he could cradle his black-and-blue arm to his chest. "Hate that so much."

"You will be all right now?" Teyla asked, awe and more than a little fear in her voice.

"Yeah, I'll be fine," Rodney said, the words clipped and cold because he couldn't meet their eyes, couldn't stand to see their expressions. They wouldn't trust him anymore, not when they knew he'd been holding out on them. "The bruises will heal like a normal person's, but at least you guys didn't die. It's just… you can't tell anyone."

"What?" John snapped, making Rodney meet his eyes with the shock and anger in his voice. "Rodney! If they can figure out what device gave you this, this, this ability, think of all the people it could help!"

Rodney was startled into laughter, shaking his head in dismay. They didn't get it. He should have known they wouldn't get it. The laughter hurt so he choked it down quickly. Teyla put a gentle hand on his shoulder while Ronon rumbled in the background. John held Rodney, a confused frown on his face.

"It wasn't a device," John said, his expression turning it into a question.

"No, it wasn't," Rodney agreed.

He didn't say anything more. He could feel the presence of an Ascended in the room. He didn't want to be zapped for saying too much. They'd do it. He knew they'd do it. They'd done it so many times before and for so much less. He thought it might be his grandfather but he wasn't sure. The presence wasn't strong enough for him to be certain which of the Ascended it was.

"This isn't the first time you've healed like that," John continued.

"Not even close," Rodney laughed, shuddering.

"You're an Ancestor," Ronon rumbled, his eyes wide. "You're one of the Ancients."

"Not anymore," Rodney said, waving his bruised arm and wincing. "Changed myself too much. Look, I know you've got ten million questions but there are lots of things that I can't tell you. We need to get out of here. We have to get back to Atlantis. Just please don't tell them. Don't tell them what I am, what my body does. I've been experimented on before. I don't want to go through that again. Please. Don't tell them."

He knew he was begging but he couldn't help it. He trusted John and Teyla and Ronon and Carson and Elizabeth but they'd have to report it back to SGC and he didn't trust them half as much. They'd have to report it up the chain and he _knew_ that the wider the group of people who knew about him, the less trustworthy people would be and the less likely it would be that they'd care if he protested and didn't want to cooperate. They wouldn't listen. They wouldn't care.

Pretty quickly he'd stop being a fellow human being and would become that immortal alien that they could learn so much from. They'd forget that he felt pain. They'd forget that he felt fear. They'd just use him and it wouldn't matter anymore if it hurt him or frightened him or if he died a few dozen times to satisfy their curiosity. He'd been through it before, several times. He didn't want to go through it again.

"Calm down, buddy," John said, squeezing Rodney's shoulders. "We won't tell anyone. We'll say you got hurt dropping the shield but that's it, right guys?"

"Of course," Teyla said, nodding agreement.

"Yeah," Ronon said. "Cannibals must love you."

Rodney shuddered and clutched his arm to his chest, his stomach trying to rebel at the memories that welled up. He laughed hysterically, hearing the fear and pain in the sound. John's arm tightened on Rodney's shoulder. Teyla made a little worried noise and leaned closer.

"That was a joke," Ronon said gently, kneeling at Rodney's feet.

"No, it wasn't," Rodney panted, shaking. "They really do love me. Chop off a limb and by the time you're done cooking it it's grown back. Perfect!"

He giggled a little, huddling in on himself. He could imagine their expressions so he didn't bother looking up at them. They got him out of the ruin, back to the puddle jumper and then back to Atlantis. By the time they were back, Rodney had regained enough control to stop laughing. He complained instead, letting the bitching take the place of any sort of reasonable discourse. He couldn't manage to be coherent right now no matter how hard he tried. He was pretty sure that after they'd had a day or so to think about it, the others were going to be freaked out, maybe even hate him, but Carson gave him some strong painkillers and Rodney drifted away, unable to stay awake.

~~~

What the hell?

That was just about all that ran through John's mind as he left the briefing room and headed back to the infirmary where Rodney was sleeping. What the hell? Rodney was immortal? An Ancient? Rodney had been _fed on_ by cannibals? That last one made his head swim as the gruesome image of Rodney's blackened and skeletal arm mixed with the lingering scent of burnt human flesh in his nose. What the _hell_?

Rodney was asleep (snoring) so John left and headed to Teyla's room, not at all surprised to find Ronon there, sitting on the floor watching as Teyla cooked something Athosian and spicy. They looked up as John came in but neither of them said anything. John sat on the couch and put his head in his hands for a long moment.

"I really saw that, didn't I?" John asked after a long moment of nothing but cooking noises from Teyla.

"Yes," Teyla said softly. "You did."

"He grew his arm back," Ronon said, the tightly controlled tone of voice conveying a lot more of his emotions than his apparently relaxed body language.

"Fuck," John breathed, looking out the window. "And he's done it before. He's got to have done it lots of times before."

"No wonder he panicked when I said I'd eat him," Ronon said, thumping the floor hard with one hand.

John shut his eyes against the wave of nausea that swept over him. Rodney's horrible broken laugh about the cannibals echoed in his ears. How the hell could he have missed this for so long? He'd been working with Rodney on a daily basis for years now. He should have seen this. He should have had some hint of it, at least when Kolya cut Rodney's arm back during the storm. But he hadn't been in the room and Rodney had kept his hand clamped over that wound jealously, not letting anyone see it. He'd even bandaged it himself. Pretty much every injury he had, he'd refused to let anyone look at. He'd always been so scared of being hurt. Now John knew why.

"Here," Teyla said, startling John by giving him a large mug full of thick soup.

"Not sure I can eat," John said, taking a sip of it and smiling. "Then again, this is good. Spicy."

"I felt the need for something…powerful…to remove the taste from my mouth," Teyla admitted with a sad sigh.

"Thanks," Ronon said as he took his mug. "Need it."

They drank their soup in silence. Teyla sighed after a few minutes, studying the soup in her mug as if it held the secrets of the universe. John thought that maybe Rodney had those, but if he did he sure didn't seem to. Sure, he was smarter than everyone else (an _Ancient_ would have to be, wouldn't he?) but he didn't seem to know what 90% of the stuff in Atlantis was, which didn't make much sense.

"We must talk to him about this," Teyla said, fixing John with a steely gaze that promised a thousand bruises if he disagreed.

"How?" John asked, waving a hand at the room and Atlantis by extension. "There're monitors everywhere, Teyla. I don't want to be the one to out him."

"We must visit my people on the mainland," Teyla said with a little smile. "There are no monitors there."

"Might work," Ronon commented, his body language making him seem completely relaxed, until you saw how white his knuckles were on the mug.

John nodded, finishing off his soup. He studied the bottom of the mug, smiling that it had a little flower painted in it. That was just like Teyla, surprises to the very end. He got up and put the mug on the counter where Teyla had been cooking.

"I'll talk to Elizabeth and arrange for some time off for us," John said, lips quirking at the pleased smile that appeared on Teyla's face. Ronon smiled too, just a tired quirk of his lips as he raised his mug of soup to toast John.

Elizabeth was a little surprised when John showed up asking for the down time but she nodded once he explained that they'd all been really worried by how close it had been and that they could do with some reconnect time. Going to visit the mainland was Elizabeth's suggestion and John was more than happy to let her think that she'd directed them to something harmless. The next day Rodney was released from the infirmary and instantly disappeared into the labs. John tracked him down, or at least he tried to track him down. It wasn't easy. Every time he thought he'd found Rodney's hiding place he disappeared somewhere else.

"Damn it, Rodney," John snarled when he finally cornered Rodney and his plaid sling in one of the lesser used labs. "Quit running away, will you?"

"I wasn't aware that I was running away, Colonel," Rodney said stiffly as he tried to fix some device with one hand and two fingers of his injured arm.

"You're off duty," John growled, "Elizabeth's orders. The whole team is off duty for a couple of days. She wants us to go to the mainland and take some time off. Teyla and Ronon are waiting. They've been waiting all morning for me to catch you."

"What?" Rodney gasped, whirling to glare at John. The glare didn't have its normal power. It was mixed with too much fear to hit John the way it normally did. "Do you have any idea how much work I have to do?"

"Put the tools down and come on, Rodney," John said kindly. "Teyla made her tuttle root soup and we're going to go get some rest and relaxation."

Rodney hesitated, swallowed hard, looked at the tools, the device he'd been working on, his sling, just about anywhere but John's face. John bit back a sigh and put his hand on Rodney's shoulder, making him start. God, he was really freaking out about this.

"Come on, buddy," John said, not letting pity creep into his voice. "I've even got some extra chocolate bars that I'm bringing along. Let it go. We're not going to be that far away if they try and blow up the city. We can get you back in time to save everyone."

"All right," Rodney growled, setting the tools down with ill grace. "Let's get this done with."

~~~

Teyla smiled at the tents that her people had set up for the team. They were placed at some distance from the village's tents, giving them some privacy. There was a small campfire for warmth and cooking. There were chairs and stools for them to sit on. Her people had even set up comfortable cots for the team to sleep on. It was as good as they were going to get short of going on a mission to an uninhabited world.

"Wow, you went all out," Rodney said as they arrived. He blinked, rubbing his arm inside its sling.

"We felt that it would be good to have some time off," Teyla said, smiling at him, "and I was pleased to be able offer a location that would allow us all to get away."

John helped Rodney get his sleeping bag set up on his cot, then set up his own. Teyla reheated the soup that she had made previously, while Ronon toasted some bread in the fire. Eventually John managed to convince Rodney to leave his tent and join them by the fire. It was clear from his behavior that he was certain that they no longer trusted or liked him. She was not sure why he felt this lack of belief in them. Perhaps it was inevitable. Given that he must be very old, he must have had many betrayals by those he thought that he could trust. It made her both sad and very angry to think that the difficult, brilliant man she had come to know would have been failed by his previous friends so badly.

"This is so good," Rodney moaned as he greedily drank his soup.

"Thank you," Teyla said, smiling at him. "I am pleased that you enjoy it so much."

"S'good," Ronon said, passing the bread to the others. "You going to let us ask questions or are you going to keep flinching?"

"Ronon," Teyla scolded him.

Rodney started and then laughed, shaking his head as he ate a big bite of bread. They ate in silence for a long while, until Rodney finally sighed and shrugged. John stiffened, watching Rodney with a fiercely protective expression. Ronon looked at Rodney calmly. He didn't seem to have any problems with Rodney's presumed immortality. Teyla had no issues with it either, though she was quite curious.

"What did you want to know?" Rodney asked, setting his empty bowl aside. "Bear in mind that there are a lot of things I can't tell you. I'll tell you what I can, of course, but I do have limits and they're quite absolute. Plus there's lots of stuff that I simply don't know."

"How can you have limits if you're immortal?" Ronon asked curiously.

"Um, the best way to answer that," Rodney said, glancing behind him and into the air for some reason, "is to have you ask me a specific question. Ask me where the ZPM factories are."

"Huh?" John asked, blinking in confusion. "You _know_ where they are?"

"I do," Rodney said, squaring his jaw though Teyla could see his knees quivering.

"Where are they?" John asked, eyes intent on Rodney's face.

"The most important factory is—"

Rodney's voice cut off as his whole body convulsed. His eyes rolled back in his head as he toppled off of his chair. There was a horrible electrical crackling noise around his body and Teyla could smell scorched flesh. She didn't remember moving, but she found herself by Rodney's side, supporting his head as he made a horrible rattling noise and his breathing stopped. John caught Rodney's hand, his face going white. Ronon knelt at Rodney's feet, growling with anger.

"He's… he's dead," John breathed, gently laying Rodney's hand on his stomach.

"Second time he's died that we've seen," Ronon rumbled, eyes full of frustrated anger. "You know as well as I do that he died for a minute when the shield fell."

"I was not certain," Teyla whispered, petting Rodney's hair.

"I was," Ronon said, resting a hand on Rodney's foot.

They sat together around Rodney's apparently dead body for about half an hour. Teyla's people accepted her explanation that Rodney had passed out and left them alone to tend to him. At the end of the half hour Rodney quivered and then suddenly gasped, drawing in a rattling breath that sounded painful to Teyla. She put a restraining hand on his shoulder while John caught his hand and Ronon caught his feet.

"That…" Rodney coughed, blinking blurrily at them, "that explain… why I… say I have… limits?"

"Fuck yes," Ronon growled. "Don't do that again!"

"Agreed," John said.

"It is rather traumatic to see you that way," Teyla said, fighting a laugh at Rodney's shock at their responses.

"Uh, okay," Rodney said, letting them help him sit up. "Do my best. Just if I tell you I can't answer a question do me a favor and believe me."

They helped Rodney to his stool, moving closer together so that they could talk without anyone overhearing them. Darkness had fallen during the wait for Rodney to return to life, so Teyla added a bit more wood to the fire before settling back to listen to whatever Rodney could tell them. He was uncharacteristically silent, staring at the fire as if seeing terrors instead of flame.

"Perhaps you can tell us something of how you received this gift?" Teyla suggested finally. "I, for one, am quite curious as to how it happened."

"It's a long story," Rodney said, blinking at her.

"We have as much time as we need," Teyla said calmly.

"All right," Rodney said thoughtfully. "Well, let me think. It's hard to condense 10,500 years into a reasonable story."

"Take as much time as you need, buddy," John said. "We'll wait as long as you want."

~~~

Ronon wasn't sure why Rodney was convinced that they'd hate him for being so long-lived. He wasn't upset about it at all. After everything he'd been through, the thought of living through far worse, dying over and over and over again, that seemed like the worst punishment that could ever be. He wondered it if was a punishment inflicted on Rodney by the Ancients, or if he'd been created to be the Wraith's perfect prey. They would love Rodney even more than Rodney's cannibals would. Prey that couldn't age and couldn't die? Bliss. He had to suppress a shudder.

"Around 11,000 years ago," Rodney said after a long pause, "the Ancients finally realized that they were doomed. They'd encountered the Wraith and figured out that they created them. They started fighting desperately but they were morons."

 

"You think everyone's a moron," Sheppard said with a chuckle.

"I mean it!" Rodney huffed, glaring at John while cradling his bruised arm. "Not idiots like humans, who just don't have the same level of brain power, but still morons.   
They were completely and utterly incapable to cooperating with each other. They could _not_ stop grandstanding long enough to combine their ideas into something that would actually work and they were so convinced of their superiority that it didn't bother them when the Wraith got a Zed-PM and started making clones. Even several generations worth of blindingly obvious failures that condemned millions of others to death didn't sink into their collective brains. Morons!"

Ronon chuckled, settling back to listen to Rodney rant. It was nice to hear him rant.

"So anyway," Rodney said, spearing Ronon with a fierce glare, "They fought a losing battle for about 500 years before they decided that ascension was the solution to all their problems. They'd leave all their idiotic mistakes behind, abandon the galaxy, and…float away."

He waved his hands, deep sarcasm in his voice, face and hand gestures. Ronon snickered. McKay was so much fun to listen to, especially when he was being derisive.

"There were a few people who disagreed but not many," Rodney continued. "The vast majority of the Ancients put their efforts in precisely two directions: Ascension and defense against the Wraith. They stopped doing pretty much everything else about 250 years before they left this galaxy, including having relationships and kids."

"How come they didn't die out?" Ronon asked curiously.

"They lived about 250 to 300 years," Rodney said with a shrug that made him wince and cradle his arm, "and there were still some breeders left. Not many but some. So anyway, about twenty-five years before they left this galaxy a pair of the people who objected to Ascension met, fell in love and got married. They were my parents. I was born about six years later. I was the very last child born in Atlantis. There weren't any other kids there. My parents were killed by the Wraith when I was two and my mom's sister and her husband adopted me. They were huge believers in Ascension, so they didn't think that it was at all necessary for me to learn everything. They'd let me learn what interested me—which was biology at that time—but most everything else they didn't bother to teach me."

"So that's why you don't know what most of the stuff in Atlantis is!" Sheppard said, pointing a surprised finger at Rodney.

Rodney nodded, making a sour face. Ronon thought that Rodney's childhood sounded horrible. To be the only child, to be raised with the expectation that you'd never make it to adulthood before you had to abandon your body, it sounded cruel to him, not like proper childcare. Teyla looked like she felt the same way, frowning at Rodney as he sighed and continued talking.

"Anyway," Rodney said, "after I was about twelve or so, I started being allowed to go through the Gate and meet other people. I met a group of kids on another world who became my first friends. Rin, Meyla and the Twins. My best friends ever until I met you guys. They taught me a lot and I taught them things and pretty soon we were spending as much time together as possible. Rin grew up to be bigger than Ronon. Meyla reminded me a lot of you, Teyla, just with pale skin and blond hair. And John's practically a duplicate of the Twins in one body, with worse hair."

"My hair's not that bad," John said as if hurt. His lips were twitching. Rodney rolled his eyes and snickered.

"What happened to them?" Ronon asked, watching Rodney's responses.

"I don't know," Rodney said, curling around his injured arm. "I was nineteen when we left. Meyla was pregnant. She'd married Rin and me, though my family never recognized the marriage as valid. You had to be twenty-five to be an adult and we were just seventeen when we got married. Her baby could have been mine or Rin's. I have no idea if they survived or not."

"Sorry," Ronon said, heart hurting for Rodney.

Rodney shrugged, attempting to make light of it. He did a very poor job of it. Ronon could see how much the loss of them hurt Rodney, even after all that time. Sheppard had a concerned expression on his face, though he was obviously trying to hide it. Teyla had her most calm and comforting expression on, which said to Ronon that she was feeling pain for Rodney, too.

"Anyway," Rodney said stiffly, "about six months before departure I completed my serum. I'd been working on a way to make people immortal. I never wanted to ascend. Never. Everyone around me thought it was the best thing ever, but I never did. I thought it was cowardice. They ran away from all the messes they created instead of fixing them. They couldn't be bothered to work together to fix it all. I refused to run away. I created an immortality serum because I knew that I couldn't stop them from taking me away from Lantea and I wanted the time to get back here, back to his galaxy, back to my home. Of course, I was an undereducated kid who thought far too highly of himself, so there were some major problems with the serum. It worked, don't get me wrong, but I really needed to work on it a lot longer before I took it."

"What was wrong with it?" Teyla asked, cocking her head to the side to study Rodney.

"Everything," Rodney said with a roll of his eyes. "It caused a citrus allergy, hypoglycemia since my body burns through food far too quickly, and the whole enormous amount of pain I feel whenever I'm hurt. Not to mention the complete inability to improve the way my body reacts. If I'd had any brains at all I'd have set the thing up so that I could revise it and improve it."

"So you took it then?" Ronon asked.

"No, actually I didn't," Rodney said, hugging his arm. "I was afraid. I kept it, fiddled with it, and when we left Lantea I took it with me. I thought they'd give me the chance to live a normal human life and I'd be able to take the serum when I was older but as soon as we got to Earth my family insisted that I ascend with them. I… just managed to argue them out of it by saying that it wasn't fair to expect me to give up my body before I'd hit full maturity. They bought it after a lot of arguing and a huge amount of whining. A dozen of us decided not to ascend. The rest ascended right away. After the meeting I took my serum and was sick for three days. None of the Ascended noticed what I'd done for almost five hundred years."

Ronon blinked, surprised. He'd always thought that they watched over mortals, that they were like gods, seeing everything that happened around them. To find out that they could miss something that huge for that long was a shock.

"How could they miss it?" Ronon asked, sitting up a little straighter. "You kept living and didn't age, right?"

"Yeah," Rodney said, his mouth doing that twisting down on one side thing. "As far as I can tell, if they're not actively watching someone—like me—they're not as aware of the passage of time as they should be. I've had conversations that were extended through thousands of years. One of them will show up and say something, and then leave. Then he'll come back in fifty or a hundred years and continue the conversation as if he just walked out of the room and thought of something that he forgot about and came back in. Makes for very strange conversations."

Rodney sighed, looking tired and a little lost. He rubbed his arm, looking at the fire with eyes that were quite blank with memories that Ronon thought must be nearly smothering. Ronon knew how hard it was to deal with the memories that he had in his lifetime. He couldn't imagine how hard it was to deal with 10,000 years pressing down on him.

"How do you deal with it?" Ronon asked, frowning. "All the memories, the years. How do you handle it"?"

~~~

Rodney winced at Ronon's question. He really hated that question. Every time a person learned of his immortality they had to ask that question. He knew it was a perfectly valid question but he really hated answering it. How was he supposed to explain it? There was no way to do it that made any sense to other people.

"It's hard to explain," Rodney said uncomfortably at Ronon's continued stare. "I sort of compartmentalize experiences. If I'm using the name Rodney then I have one set of experiences to worry about. If I'm Meredith, I have a different set of memories to worry about. And I only worry about everything that I've experienced when something like this happens and I'm forced to remember what I was."

He gingerly waved his injured arm, wincing at the pain. God but he hated the soft sciences! Too easy to mess up and the consequences that came after that were generally so nasty as to be torture. He'd been such an idiot when he was young.

"Huh," Ronon said, nodding slowly. "Makes sense. That's what I do, too. Works over that long?"

"What? Of course it works," Rodney said, glaring at Ronon. "Didn't I just say that it works?"

Ronon grinned at him suddenly, acting like he was pleased. John hid a laugh behind one hand, muffling the aborted honk that his laughter was when he let go. Teyla's lips twitched with amusement though she still had on her very calm 'nothing bothers me' expression. Rodney blinked, looking at them each in turn.

"You don't think I'm a freak," Rodney said, the words slipping out before he could stop them. All of their expression slid into something that he thought resembled pain and worry, so he kept talking. A wall of words usually kept people from getting too close, though it didn't seem to work on his team. "You really don't think I'm a freak, a curiosity to be cut up and studied. I can't believe this. You're not going to turn me in, are you? This… this is your way to reassuring me that it's all right."

"Rodney, we are your friends," Teyla said, her voice utterly gentle. Her eyes were a little hurt by his lack of faith. "We would never do something that would cause you to be hurt."

"Yeah," Ronon said, reaching one long leg out to lightly boot Rodney's leg. "Saved us. Lots of times."

"We're just… curious," John said, not meeting Rodney's eyes in the way that meant he was trying not to say something emotional and sensitive. "You know, how you survived, what you survived. What you can survive. Why Atlantis didn't recognize you at first. All that stuff."

Rodney laughed quietly, shaking his head. No wonder he'd stuck around these people. He couldn't chase them off if he beat them with a stick, not that he could beat Teyla or Ronon with a stick, but whatever. The least he could do would be to answer their questions, the ones that he could, anyway.

"I'll live to be about a million or a million and a half years old," Rodney said, smiling sadly. "I wanted to give myself enough time to get back here and to solve the Wraith problem. I kind of underestimated humanity when I created the serum. You guys made it to a decent level of technology much sooner than I expected given how primitive you were when we first went to Earth."

"I suppose we had help to get here," John said, raising an eyebrow at Rodney.

"No, not allowed," Rodney said, making a face. "That's another immediate death offense. They hold me to the Ascension Protocols despite the fact that I never signed them and I'm not ascended. And they haven't listened to a single one of my appeals on that issue. Frustrating in the extreme."

"There were actual written protocols?" Teyla asked, blinking at him.

Rodney nodded, rolling his eyes as he settled back into his chair. Teyla looked surprised by that. Ronon had his disgusted expression on but John was blinking at Rodney in confusion. Rodney cocked his head at John, wondering what was biting him now.

"If you were around at that time," John said, "why didn't Chaya recognize you? And you her?"

"Of course I recognized her, Kirk!" Rodney snapped, huffing at him. "How could I not? Why do you think I was so harsh with her? She's properly Ascended. She shouldn't have been physical at all. It drives me absolutely crazy that _some_ people get special exceptions to the protocols and I get punished for breaking them when I'm _not even Ascended!_"

He glared up into the night sky, knowing that several of the Ascended had to be listening. They always were. They weren't close enough for him to sense but he knew that they had to be there, watching over him so that they could slap him down if he did anything they didn't approve of. It was so blatantly unfair. Even after 10,000 years he hadn't gotten over the unfairness of it all. 'Chaya' could prance around and live like a human, giving her people unnaturally healthy lives and using her powers freely to protect them, but Rodney, who was still mortal and physical without any powers at all, couldn't use what little knowledge he'd learned to the fullest extent.

"Anyway," Rodney said, blushing a little at their looks, "yes, I knew what she was. Yes, she knew what I was. She disapproves of me making myself immortal and I strongly disapprove of her not descending if she can't leave her people alone. That's the choice she should have made: de-ascend and live as a mortal. But noooooo, she gets to use her powers and meddle in people's lives and no one slaps her down for anything. And you of course had to go and seduce her."

"You can rant about anything," Ronon quipped, watching Rodney admiringly.

John's laugh escaped that time, making Teyla shake her head and grin at them all. Rodney relaxed a little more. They really were going to protect him. They really were going to take care of him and trust him. He sighed, the hurt in his heart for the loss of Rin and Meyla and the Twins fading a little. They weren't the same people but maybe they were something close enough that he could have a home again, this time without being ripped away from the three of them.

"I am curious as to why you could not interact with Atlantis," Teyla asked, lips still twitching with laughter at John's continuing amusement.

"Oh that," Rodney said, flipping his good hand to wave the question away. "The serum changed me enough that Atlantis doesn't recognize me anymore. I mean, she recognizes me but not as an Ancient with full access to her systems. I always had limited access because I was a child. You weren't considered an adult until you were 25 back then. I think I said that already."

"You did," Ronon confirmed. "So if you're immortal, how can you have a sister?"

"She's not my sister," Rodney said, shaking his head in dismay. "Her family knows about me, that's all. Well, not Madison or Kaleb, but Jeannie knows. I was Uncle Mer when she was little. It's part of why things are uncomfortable with us. Also part of why I stopped talking to her for a few years. She needed some time to be able to deal with the switch. I kind of protected her family for a few hundred years and they, well, help me come up with new identities when I need them. Awkward at times but it works."

They all stilled, listening to the fire slowly burning itself out. He knew that they had to have a million more questions. People always did when they found out about him. It looked like they were all a little shell-shocked though. Rodney could understand that. He was feeling sort of shell-shocked himself. He'd honestly expected them to repudiate him for lying to them for so long. Or maybe turn him over to the SGC. That they hadn't done so when so many generations of people had done it at the first opportunity was making his head spin a little. Or maybe that was his pain medications wearing off, combining with the exhaustion of lack of sleep. Teyla cleared her throat, looking at Rodney far too intently.

"What will you do now?" Teyla asked, her voice going far too soft and hesitant.

John stilled, his eyes haunted as he looked at Rodney. Ronon rumbled deep in his chest, his expression warning Rodney that he wasn't going to escape even if he tried. Rodney shivered, trying to sort out the strange emotion that was pounding against his sternum. It had been so long since anyone had discovered him and accepted him. It had been even longer since he'd felt so strongly about anyone else.

"That kind of depends on you guys," Rodney said, fussing with his sling. "What are you going to do?"

"We're Team, Rodney," John said, his voice rough with emotion that he wouldn't express. "We take care of each other. That's how it works."

"We are family," Teyla said, reaching over to put her hand on Rodney's elbow, stilling his fidgeting. Ronon nodded agreement.

"Then…" Rodney had to stop and swallow the lump in his throat. He put on a smile that felt fragile, as delicate as fine blown glass. "Then I guess I'll stick around and answer questions for a few decades. I should be able to find a solution to the Wraith eventually, given enough time. And maybe I'll tell you some of what happened to me, though that'll take a long time."

"We've got time, buddy," John said, smiling at him so warmly that it made that lump reappear in Rodney's throat. "We've got all the time in the universe for you."

Rodney nodded, ducking his head to hide a grin.

"Yes, yes," Rodney said, raising his head so that he could fix a glare on John that wasn't half as fierce as it should be. "I'm sure you've got plenty of time, Captain Kirk, but some of us have work to do."

The laughter that followed made Rodney relax entirely. He knew that Meyla, Rin and the Twins hadn't ascended but for once he felt like they might just be watching over him and smiling.


	2. That

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pegasus had a way of opening John's mind, even on subjects that he knew were wrong. Despite that he never expected to find out that slavery was something that he _liked_.

"Oh please," Rodney drawled, rolling his eyes. "As if you know anything about slavery."

"I know it's wrong," John said hotly, glaring at Rodney. "Don't tell me you support slavery."

"I've been a slave," Rodney said, giving John _that_ look, the one that said he's talking to the immortal Ancient Meredith rather than Dr. Rodney McKay. "I've been a slave owner. I've been a slave trainer, for heaven's sake. It's a massively inefficient way to run a society but under the correct--primitive--conditions it works."

John looked around at the alien slave world they were exploring, taking in the market with people stripped naked and bound, the prospective buyers shouting their bids, and the misery on the slave's faces. It made his blood boil. He wanted to tear the collars off of every single slave. He wanted to shoot the slave dealers. He wanted to beat the slave owners with their own elaborately woven whips.

"Hey," Rodney said, his hand warm against John's cheek. "I know you're upset but this is their world. You can't understand it until you've done it."

"There's no way in hell I'd ever do that!" John said, waving at the slave masters.

"I wasn't talking about them," Rodney said, far too much knowledge in his eyes.

It went straight to John's cock, making him look away from the miserable slaves being sold to the ones serving their masters. He didn't want to see the happiness in their faces so he didn't look. He didn't think. John let Teyla and Rodney deal with the people in charge. It wasn't until they're back in Atlantis and finishing up dinner that John realized that people there had to have assumed that Ronon was Teyla's slave and John was Rodney's. He looked up sharply at Rodney, ready to snap something rude from the hot rage of that realization. The knowing look was back in Rodney's eyes, along with a sort of welcome that John never expected to see there.

John finished his food and left, mumbling something about paperwork. He pounded on the punching bag in the gym. He ran around Atlantis until he was about to drop. It was late when he made his way to Rodney's room. Rodney studied him, nodded slowly and let him in.

"I'm not a slave," John said, legs trembling with so much more than exhaustion.

"Do you want to be?" Rodney asked, neither judgment nor approval in his expression.

John hesitated. His legs made the decision for him, dropping him to his knees in front of Rodney. Rodney's fingers ran through his hair. John leaned into Rodney's hand, surprised as something let loose inside of him and he relaxed. It was almost as good as flying. It became better as Rodney pulled him close and made him stop thinking.

+++++

"No," Ronon said, his hand heavy around the back of John's neck. "I like dangerous things. Why would I want to take his weapons away?"

"He could attack you," the leader of the assholes that had taken half his team said, licking his lips in a mixture of nervousness and excitement. "Kill you."

"Not good enough for that," Ronon smirked, the grip shifting and driving John to his knees.

John panted, resisting just enough to let Ronon know that this was _not_ part of the deal. Ronon tightened his fingers, twisting John's head so that it was pressed against Ronon's leather-clad thigh. There wasn't a hell of a lot he could do about it, not with the other slave owners watching, not with Teyla and Rodney's lives on the line. He knew that they were watching from the cages behind the owners, knew that it was his performance that was going to convince the slave dealers to sell Teyla and Rodney to Ronon.

Ronon's grip shifted into John's hair, driving his face into Ronon's crotch. John moaned, shaking as he realized that Ronon was hard. He was getting off on this, on forcing John to obey, to submit, on having others watch them together like this. John bucked hard against the grip, getting just enough distance to look up into Ronon's eyes. They were hot, possessive, and strangely needy. John whined deep in his throat and brought his hands up to Ronon's thighs. His hands were shaking. Ronon tugged gently on John's hair. John went willingly this time, his whole body thrumming from submitting. He mouthed the taunt leather, moaning at the sound that tore out of Ronon's throat.

"Besides," Ronon said, "this is what he needs. What are you?"

"Yours," John breathed, the sound coming out so husky as to be unintelligible. He cleared his throat and tried again. "Yours, Master!"

A few hours of negotiation later, they were on their way home. They all agreed that this would never make it into the mission report. John wasn't surprised when his door chimed after dark.

"Again," was all Ronon had to say to have John on his knees.

+++++

"They each have qualities that I find… valuable," Teyla said, running her fingers through John's hair as if he was a big cat.

Playing slave for a teammate was easier the third time. Of course, Rodney kneeling completely compliantly at Teyla's feet helped. He didn't have a sappy expression on his face, like he was pretending that Teyla was his goddess or something. Instead, John thought that Rodney looked content, as if he could sit there for the next decade waiting for Teyla's command. He knelt so comfortably that it was obvious he'd done it many times before. Ronon hovered behind Teyla, big and bulky and as impressive as a bodyguard should be. Teyla played the role of Mistress like she'd been born to it, serene, commanding and somehow sexier than ever. John wouldn't have thought that was possible, not that he would have admitted to finding Teyla sexy before.

"Indeed," the matriarch of the village said, studying John. "They do seem to have different uses."

"Of course," Teyla said, smiling. She kept petting John's hair, playing with his cowlicks. "One to guard, one to advise and one to… please me."

John went beet red as he realized which role he'd been cast for. He swallowed hard, looking up at Teyla. She smiled down at him, running a thumb across his cheek. His cock jumped as his heartbeat picked up. She hadn't looked at him like that before, like he was something delicious that she was looking forward to consuming at her leisure. The pounding of his blood in his ears drowned out a good bit of the following conversation between Teyla and the matriarch. He started when Teyla's fingers abruptly tightened in his hair.

"No," Teyla said, her voice so sharp that John went on alert, shaking off the haze of pleasure she'd caused. "I do not share him. He is _mine_."

The way she said 'mine' made John moan and turn his face into Teyla's thigh. Rodney and Ronon had already taught him that he had a serious kink for being claimed. He hadn't realized that it would extend to Teyla though. He didn't want it to extend to everyone in the universe. It was scary enough letting his team lay claim to him. Thinking that he might respond that way to strangers made him shiver with fear. He raised a shaking hand and put it on her shin. Her fingers in his hair loosened, and then tightened again, pulling his head back so he had to look into her eyes. John shuddered at the sheer ownership he saw there. He licked his lips and she smiled at him, a promise appearing in her eyes.

"He is _mine_," Teyla repeated. "I am sorry but sharing him will not be part of sealing the treaty."

"Pity," the matriarch said. "He's very well trained. I would have enjoyed testing him out."

Teyla managed to seal the treaty without promising any of them for anything. They took the treaty back to Elizabeth, gave her a generic report on the village that left out the three men acting as Teyla's slaves while still warning of the strongly matriarchal culture's slave taking tendencies, and went through their post-mission checkup. As they were leaving the infirmary Teyla turned to John, the promise appearing in her eyes again.

"You will come to my quarters tonight," Teyla said. It wasn't a question or a request.

"Yes," John breathed, the single word shaking with the need that his team had awoken. He wasn't sure that he'd be able to deal with a full day of work before she met that need.

+++++

"Come in," Teyla said, smiling and gesturing for John to enter her quarters, sunset coming through the windows of her room to stain the floor gold and red.

He went, knees shaking. John stopped in his tracks as Ronon stood, smiling _that_ smile at him. Rodney was there too, sitting on the couch and looking at John with those ancient, knowing eyes. John gasped as Teyla's hands pressed against his back, warm through the fabric of his black T-shirt.

"You do not need to worry, John," Teyla said, gently pressing down against his shoulders. "We will take care of you."

John's knees gave out. Ronon caught him before he could crack a kneecap on the floor. He eased John down to kneel in front of him, cupping John's face and looking down at him as if he was the most precious thing he'd ever seen. Rodney had told John that there should be rules about this the time John had been with him. That he should make sure that they wouldn't cross any lines John set, that they didn't do anything that would upset or hurt him. Kneeling there with his face between Ronon's hands John literally couldn't think of anything that he wouldn't do for them if they asked. He'd fight for them. He'd die for them. He'd even try and talk for them if they asked him to right now. Ronon groaned as if he could see that in John's eyes.

"Clothes," Rodney said. "Get his clothes off."

"Agreed," Ronon said, tugging at John's shirt.

"He is mine first," Teyla said, serenity replaced by urgency. "You have both had him previously. The first time tonight is mine."

"Oh god," John moaned, shaking as they stripped him bare and then guided him to the bed.

Teyla had removed her clothes while Ronon stripped him. She lay back on the bed and spread her legs. He shuddered at the sight of her, waiting for her order. He could hear Rodney and Ronon stripping but kept his eyes locked on Teyla. She smiled, gesturing for him to climb onto the bed.

"You may use your mouth but nothing else," Teyla ordered.

"Yes Mistress," John said, bending to his task.

She seemed to enjoy his efforts, tugging at his hair to guide him in exactly what she wanted. John started and then groaned as someone—probably Rodney from the size of the fingers—started prepping him for anal. Teyla bucked and came, keeping his tongue pressed inside of her. John kept working to please her, goose bumps breaking out as Ronon started rubbing his calloused hands over John's back.

John whimpered, feeling like pieces of his body were coming loose. The tension he always carried in his shoulders disappeared, leaving them strangely pliant. His back arched and then lengthened under Ronon's touch. Every piece of his body seemed to be unraveling as they took what they wanted from him. Rodney's insistent, commanding fingers inside of him combined with Ronon's hands exploring his body combined with Teyla's taste on this tongue and her hands in his hair. There wasn't a part of him that didn't feel them, that wasn't submitting to them. The second time Teyla came John gasped and cried out, burying his face in her inner thigh as his whole body jerked from an orgasm that came from nowhere. They hadn't even touched his cock yet.

"Good boy," Teyla sighed, petting John's hair.

"Bed's too small," Ronon complained.

"Take my place," Teyla offered, moving to the side and allowing Ronon to press his erection into John's wet lips. As Ronon slowly fucked John's mouth, Rodney pressed into his ass. Teyla chuckled and ran a strap of leather over John's back, dragging it across his skin slowly and gently.

"Hit him," Ronon ordered. "He likes it."

"You are certain?" Teyla asked, her voice curious rather than worried.

"Oh yeah," Ronon said, fisting his fingers in John's hair. "Already found that out."

John nodded around Ronon and then gasped as the strap left a stripe of fire across his back. The second stripe made John's eyes drift shut. The third made his mind drift away. They played with him for a timeless period that left John so relaxed that he literally couldn't be sure his toes were still attached. Eventually they pulled the mattress off of the bed and the cushions off of the couch, creating a nest to curl up in. Ronon carried him over and settled him in the middle, kissing him gently on the cheek.

"I missed this," Rodney said after a long silent time that nearly put John to sleep.

"Having someone like John to play with?" Teyla asked.

"No, this," Rodney said.

John levered his eyes open. Ronon was pressed up against Rodney's back, rubbing his hip possessively. John lay next to him with Teyla at his back. Rodney waved at the four of them, the way they were snuggled together. John smiled, moving closer and hugging Rodney. He buried his face in Rodney's neck, sighing happily.

"Belonging," John mumbled, too tired to explain in detail. "Safe. Accepted."

"Yes," Rodney said, nuzzling John's hair. "That."


End file.
